in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
