so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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