In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
