Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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