Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
