3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
