no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
