I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
