Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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