I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Randomize
