Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
