Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
We had to coat check the pizza.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
