Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I wanna passion pit in your ass
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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