Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
