we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
