can we get nightvision for the apartment?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
