My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
The feeling are messing with the penis
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
