it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
