I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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