wat bout pragnant strippers??
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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