Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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