I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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