I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
