It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
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