I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
