sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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