i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
