so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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