Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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