i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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