i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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