exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
4 words: hood of his car
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
A bitchslap is in order.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
