Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
