He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
