omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
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