with your own penis?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Randomize
