It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
