Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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