How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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