i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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