I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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