Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
How's work?
Spinning.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
