omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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