I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
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