Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
