it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
