some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
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