He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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