can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Randomize
