Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
