Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Randomize